Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together
to celebrate the union of two of my favorite pups.
Is this a fairy tale?
Is it love that I'm feeling?
Oh, pull it together, you two. It's a wedding, not a funeral.
- [crying] - Oh, here. Ida, here.
- Gracias. - It's gonna be okay.
[blowing nose]
Gracias.
So, come on, everybody, get on up,
and let's show these two just how groovy puppy love can be.
- ♪ Let there be joy ♪ - ♪ Joyful joy ♪
- ♪ Throughout the land ♪ - ♪ So much joy ♪
♪ Let's all come together ♪
♪ Raise your paws and clap your hands ♪
- ♪ Today two hearts ♪ - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ Will beat as one ♪
♪ Let there be love ♪
- ♪ Oh, let there be love ♪ - ♪ Let there be love ♪
♪ Oh, through thick and thin And back again ♪
♪ I pledge my love to you ♪
♪ I vow to love and cherish you Of course I say "I do" ♪
♪ I do ♪
Hey.
- ♪ Let's plant a seed ♪ - ♪ Plant a seed ♪
♪ And watch it grow ♪
♪ Watch it grow ♪
♪ When you care for one another ♪
♪ Love will blossom Don't you know? ♪
- ♪ Let your light shine ♪ - ♪ Let it shine ♪
♪ Like stars above ♪
♪ Let's put in motion this devotion ♪
♪ And let there be love ♪
- ♪ Let's raise the roof ♪ - Raise the roof.
♪ And howl "woof, woof" ♪
♪ Let love provide the answer ♪
♪ And you will have your proof ♪
Yeah.
See you soon. We love you.
Hey, yo, be easy, fam.
- ♪ And then you'll see ♪ - ♪ Then you'll see ♪
- ♪ Your destiny ♪ - ♪ Your destiny ♪
♪ Side by side ♪
♪ The groom and bride ♪
♪ Let love provide ♪
♪ And be your guide ♪
♪ Let there be love ♪
Let there be love.
- Yeah. - Hallelujah.
♪ Let there be love ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
Come on.
- ♪ Let there be love ♪ - ♪ Let there be love ♪
All right.
♪ Let there be love ♪
[baby cries]
[groans]
What time is it?
Uh... Two fifty, still.
- They've been in there for hours. - It's been five minutes.
Look, these things take time.
Okay? Just breathe.
Remember Lamaze class. Hee, hee...
[panting]
- Good. - I'm bugging out here. [shouts]
- Wait. - Tiny, I'm coming.
Just calm down, okay? Here, have a cigar.
What? I don't smoke.
- Yeah, I don't either, actually. - I don't get it.
- Why do we have cigars? - I don't know.
I got the call that Tiny's having the puppies,
I ran to the car, fell, hit my head,
I was driving by a cigar shop, and bought a bunch of cigars.
I have no idea what was going on, okay? I'm on autopilot right now.
Would you just please...
calm down, P.U.P.?
Lou, Lou, Lou. The puppies.
- Are they--? - Can't talk. Getting towels.
Shep, I'm dying out here.
- Tiny, is she--? - Steven.
I'm sterilizing. I don't have time for your melodrama.
- But wait-- - You're killing me.
- That goes for you, too, Papa. - What--?
Ida, Tiny.
Tiny's doing great, Mr. Steven. And the puppies are coming soon, too.
I'm already flipping my fur.
We can't bring the puppies into this world to meet esta gente loca, can we?
- No. Yes. I mean, no. - [clock] Cuckoo.
We're not loca. We're fine.
We're normal. We're not crazy.
- You're more cuckoo than that clock. - Okay?
Cuckoo.
[speaking in Spanish]
- Towels, incoming. - Water to go.
- We have hot water. - Hot.
- Hot water. - Hot water.
Ah.
I need a nap.
Cuckoo.
Time to wake up, Papa.
Hmm?
The puppies are here.
What happened? What--? Where--?
- Three adorable girls. - [puppies whimpering]
Rosie, Charlie, and the tiniest one, Cindy.
And a very handsome boy, Brody.
Aren't they the most beautiful puppies ever?
Yes, they are, old pal.
Oh, my dog.
Tiny? Is she okay?
- Um... - Well, come see for yourselves.
Come on.
How you doing, darling?
I can truly say that I've never, ever been better.
We're going to be good parents, right?
We're gonna be awesome.
Those orphans have foiled Julio for the last time.
[laughing maniacally]
Say it.
Say the line.
Holy frijoles, mi amoeba.
Evil just got a lot better-looking.
[man] Cut.
Cut.
Finally.
Please, tell Julio he can start acting, any time now.
Ai-yai-ai.
Lo siento, everybody.
The gringo is still adjusting.
If I'm so bad, why am I here?
Ratings, idiota.
You're like a car crash.
You miserable little imp.
I can't do this anymore.
Get these amateurs off my set.
This show won't last two episodes without me.
Do you know who I am?
Yes.
An out-of-work gringo actor.
Somebody get me Casting.
I need two dogs.
One a medium, one a Chihuahua.
[gasps]
There is only one Julio.
How hard do you think it will be
to find a Chihuahua?
This is Mexico.
[man speaks in Spanish]
Uh... Wait, what?
What just happened? This is bad.
Julio is confused.
Wait, wait, wait.
I can play both parts.
I'll work for scale.
Come on, scaredy-cat. Get in there and stamp it down.
This is so gross. [chuckles]
[groans]
- Hey. - [squeaking noises]
Wait.
Kano. Something's moving in here.
Better keep stamping.
[laughing]
What the...?
[shouting]
Hey, you. Turn that camera off.
Oh, you think this is funny?
How's this for a headline?
"Hack reporter gets free ambulance ride."
[announcer] You're watching DMZ.
Way to take a hit.
Glad it's you, and not me, Micky. Looks rough.
Worth it.
You're a true journalist.
Mean Team, you're the ultimate losers.
Trash taking out trash, right?
[laughs] And how do you get fired from your own show?
Am I right, guys?
Just when you thought you couldn't sink any lower than daytime TV.
I guess crime doesn't pay.
You said-- What do you mean?
- Charlie, Rosie, Cindy. - What's up, Bro?
You will not believe what's going on in the kitchen.
- Breathe, Brody, breathe. - Come on, come on.
- [oven dings] - Mm. Turkey time.
- Mm. Yes. - You know, when I first came to America,
I thought you were all loco with the Thanksgiving.
Pero now... Whoo.
I love the pumpkin pie.
Yes. [sniffs] Mmm.
Oh! Mr. Steven. You will spoil your dinner.
Okay.
[shouting]
Hot.
[Ida] Oy, no, no, no.
It says right here in my Julia Child cookbook,
you cannot start carving for 15 minutes.
Okay, okay.
- [Ida] Mm-hm. - [Steven] Let's set the table.
[Ida] Yes, I love the Thanksgiving table.
Bro, I think you just found the mother lode.
It smells so delicious.
Forget how it smells, Rosie. I wanna know how it tastes.
Brody, we can't do that.
What if it's poisoned?
What are you even talking about, Brody?
I know. What if I take a bite, and test it first?
If there's no poison, it's just a teensy bite, right?
But if there is, I'm a hero.
You know that doesn't make any sense, right?
Come on.
The puppies' first Thanksgiving.
I can't believe it's already here.
It's kind of magical, seeing a holiday through our pups' eyes.
Heh. When I was their age, I was on the streets.
Spitting rhymes and hustling full-time.
Oh, man.
My first bite of turkey. Hallelujah.
Brody, is it poisoned?
Uh... I can't tell.
I, uh... gotta keep checking.
- Hey, he can't stop eating. - [Brody] So good.
He's got golden retriever fever.
- [gasps] - Uh-oh.
I told you, guys, this was a bad idea.
Well, we can't let it go to waste.
We've gotta hide the evidence.
Now... where's that pie?
Guys, snap out of it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on in here?
[gasps, then chuckles]
Uh, happy Thanksgiving, loving family.
[gasps]
- My pumpkin pie. - It's...
What the...?
Come on.
I know what this looks like, but...
Great news.
[belches, then chuckles] The turkey isn't poisoned.
It was all Brody's idea.
- [gasps] - He's the mastermind.
- Oh. - Bus chucker.
Turkey hucker.
Stop snitching. [chuckles]
Rule número uno:
Never admit guilt.
We plead the Fifth.
Grandpa Steve, you're our lawyer.
- What? - Well, I'm the judge,
they're the hungry jury,
and you're all doing time in your room.
[groans]
Tough love, sis. I'm telling you, it works.
It's not like them to act out like this.
Maybe we're not spending enough time with them.
That's a possibility.
We have been spending a lot of time at the studio.
And the live shows, and the galas, and the...
Oh, jeez.
Oh, no. We're deadbeat parents.
You can spend some quality time with them.
And you could create your own family traditions.
[gasps] Lou, you genius.
Pup Star: A Puppy Star Christmas.
Oh! Chestpups Roasting on an Open...
We'll circle back to the title.
But, headline, "ratings gold."
Lou, you always have the best advice.
A little family time will turn those pups right around.
In that case, I think it's time we taught them
about the Christmas spirit.
Family, sharing, and not destroying my turkey.
Or my pumpkin pie.
Why are they so uptight?
Either way, that turkey was going to get eaten.
And Ida's pie was delicious.
Guys, you're missing the point here.
Uh...
You're right, sis.
We didn't even get to taste Grandpa Steven's world-famous stuffing.
That's not what I meant.
Ida and Grandpa worked really hard, getting dinner ready.
Maybe we didn't consider the consequences.
No, that can't be it.
[knocking on door]
Quick. Uh...
Look like we learned something.
I think all of yous need to apologize to Grandpa.
We're sorry, Ida and Grandpa Steven.
I guess we just couldn't resist your amazing cooking.
Aw...
- It's hard to argue with that, right? - Right, yeah.
Okay.
What Grandpa means to say is...
Right.
We all make mistakes.
The important thing is that we recognize them
and not repeat them.
Yeah.
Roll back. I think I missed something here.
Well, pups, Christmas is just around the corner,
and it's time you learned the true meaning of Christmas.
Grandpa Steven's going to read you his favorite Christmas book.
Santa and the Naughty Elf.
Uh...
- Let's get these toys wrapped, everybody. - Okay, let's go.
♪ Today, my fellow helpers I'm here to convey ♪
♪ It's time to work our magic 'Cause Santa's on his way ♪
♪ When we all pull together ♪
♪ Christmas dreams come true ♪
♪ Let's do this for Santa ♪
♪ And Mrs. Santa, too ♪
♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make those jingle bells ♪
♪ Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ Santa, Santa, Santa Santa, Santa, Santa ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ So great to have you with us To spread the Christmas cheer ♪
♪ Let's make this joyful season Last throughout the year ♪
♪ Remember Christmas spirit And what it's all about ♪
♪ So, open up your hearts And let's help each other out ♪
- ♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪ - ♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make those jingle bells ♪
♪ Ring, ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ Well, I think I've got this train On track ♪
♪ Choo, choo, choo ♪
♪ And the kids will love These pink backpacks ♪
♪ Oh, it's true ♪
♪ Why don't we add some tasty snacks? ♪
♪ Yes, let's do ♪
♪ Get busy, everybody ♪
♪ Let's pick up the slack ♪
[all] Go.
Go, Prancer. Go, Prancer.
Rip it up, Dancer.
- Go, Dancer. - Go, Vixen.
All right, Comet.
Rip it up, Dancer and Prancer.
Go.
- Yeah. - Hooves to the house.
Hooves to the house.
Come on, yeah. Yeah, come on.
- Yeah. - Come on, come on. Yeah, come on, come on.
- ♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪ - ♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make Those jingle bells ring ♪
♪ How about a round of hot chocolates On me? ♪
♪ Yum, yum, yum ♪
♪ And don't forget to add whipped cream ♪
♪ Sounds like fun ♪
♪ And extra sprinkles If you feel the need ♪
♪ We'd love some ♪
♪ We're so proud to have each one of you As part of our team ♪
♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make Those jingle bells ring ♪
- ♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪ - ♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
- ♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪ - ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Make this the best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make those jingle bells ♪
♪ Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
[laughing]
Cheer up, gringo.
This is not so bad.
You wouldn't understand.
You're used to living in trash.
And now I'm used to living with trash.
[laughing]
You've been zinged.
I crack myself up.
[groans]
If it wasn't for Tiny and that fleabag rapper,
I'd own Pup Star.
[man speaking in Spanish on tv]
Allow me to introduce the Purina czarina,
the furshionista that is fur,
the canine queen and everything in between--
Just-- Just let them talk.
Okay. I mean... [scoffs]
Happy holidays, everybody.
[speaking in Spanish]
Is there no end to my humiliation?
Pup Star and Dawg Pound Records
are proud to present the first ever Pup Star Christmas Special.
Our friends will be there. Scrappy, Lady Paw Paw...
Julio, translate.
You still can't speak Spanish?
[growls]
Learn the language, Americano.
Listen, I have minions to speak it for me.
Minions like you.
Okay, so, he's saying...
Tiny's putting on a Pup Star Christmas special
in honor of her new familia.
But props to our main man, Shep, for booking us the best guest star ever.
We got Santa Claus.
You got Santa?
We have Santa?
[Julio] With special guest...
- Santa Claus? - [announcer] Santa Claus.
Uh, surely my invitation has simply been lost in the e-mail. Heh.
Well, well, well.
Julio, what's bigger than Christmas?
Nothing.
It is the most sacred of holidays.
Unless there was a Julio de Mayo, of course.
[speaking in Spanish]
[both laughing maniacally]
Don't blame yourself, Charlie.
Chess is a tough game.
Minutes to learn, years to master.
Hey, look, Ida has a charcuterie board.
[gasps]
Sweet cheeses and meat.
[Ida] For you, Shep.
Charlie, what are you doing?
That's cheating.
Shh. Go be a Goody Two-shoes somewhere else, Cindy.
I'm fleecing this rube.
- Mm. - Checkmate.
[gasps]
Hang in there, Uncle Shep. Your luck will change.
Best seven out of 13?
Hey, man, it's your loot.
♪ Five new headshots ♪
Oh, yeah. That girl's got swagger.
♪ Four sizzle reels Three featured tracks ♪
♪ Two Tony nods ♪
♪ And a movie lead That's written just for me ♪
[laughing]
- [snorts] Amazing. - Yay.
You're a natural.
Yes, Rosie.
Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking.
Star power.
It factor.
Glamour.
[Steven] Brody? Brody, what are you doing with Grandpa's lights?
Oh, my--
[Steven shouting]
Ida.
- Ida, get the ladder. - [gasps] Oh, my goodness. Oh, Mr. Steven.
- Okay, okay, I'm coming. Okay. - Come on.
[Ida] Oh, my God.
- Uh-oh. - [Ida] You hang on there.
- Maybe he won't think it was me. - [Steven] Hurry.
Cindy.
What do you have there?
I found it in a box with our Christmas decorations.
That was my mom's favorite ornament.
Thank you, Auntie Lou. You're the best auntie ever.
Mm.
[Steven] Coming through.
Oh, oh, oh!
Surprise.
- I love gingerbread. - [both laughing]
- How's that look? - It's beautiful.
We did good.
[laughing]
- You did amazing. - It's so beautiful.
Hey.
Did you steal my sandwich?
Look, it's gone.
Just buy a new sandwich.
Oh, yeah. Sure, Mr. Moneybags.
On a garbageman's salary?
[laughing]
Well, aren't you two a sorry sight?
I told you to never show your mug here again.
I'll wreck you like a squeaky toy.
- No, no. - [growls]
No. Kano.
Yes, yes, yes, Bark.
Beat it. We've got paying jobs.
Honest, smelly, lousy, paying jobs.
Hola, Roland.
Good to see you again, compadre.
My money's on Kano.
I'd put 3-to-1 on Bark.
He is very tricky, no?
Kano.
I've got a new plan, and it's foolproof.
Oh!
Score.
[groans]
You say that every time.
And guess what. Every time, it doesn't work.
Just hear me out.
Wanna try?
Kano, what's bigger than Pup Star?
Oh. I know, I know.
Mr. Rogers.
[scoffs] Idiot. Christmas.
People have to buy presents, no matter what.
No, not in Mexico.
Santa brings gifts for the poor niños and pups.
Only if they've been good all year, of course.
Not anymore, he doesn't.
We are gonna run the North Pole.
You wanna take over Christmas?
That's quite the score.
Enough loot for every kid on earth.
All right, I'm in.
Me, too.
On one condition.
I get to fly the reindeer.
Yes, you can fly the reindeer.
Yes.
Yes. Yes.
Ah. Finally.
Muy bien, everyone's in, los cuatro amigos.
- Yeah. - Now may we please go somewhere warm?
Because Julio is not built for the cold.
Do you wanna tell him?
He'll figure it out soon enough.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
Good to see you.
[Julio speaking in Spanish]
How do we get to the North Pole?
Thank you.
Good to see you.
Okay. We'll need some disguises.
Watch your step. It's slippery out there.
With the snow.
Hey, did somebody leave a giant bag of candy canes back here?
- What? - Yeah.
Let me get some.
- Let's get them all. - Yeah.
- [elf 1] Yeah. - [elf 2] All right.
- [elf 3] Hey, where's the candy cane? - [elf 4] You can't do that.
- [elf 2] I can't eat that. - [elf 1] Hey. That belongs to me.
And that's where a sugar addiction will get you.
It's sad, really.
[chattering]
Oh. Heh.
[man] All aboard to Santa's workshop.
Oh. Mama, that's good.
Zip it. We've got a ride to catch.
Sorry, gang, you gotta take the next coach.
Only one seat left.
I got this.
- Get out. - [girl] Oh!
That's not a very holly-jolly attitude.
- [man] You're on the naughty list. - You're not very nice.
- No Christmas spirit in there. - Look, two seats just opened up.
[laughs] What luck.
- [Julio] Julio... - Is he okay?
Julio-cicle?
Oh, yeah. He's just not used to the cold.
- Right? - Freezing.
There we go. Lock it up.
Hyah! Next stop, Santa's workshop.
["We Wish You a Merry Christmas" playing]
Excuse me. Camera coming through.
Shep. What--? What are you doing?
Oh, this old thing? Heh.
Standing in for Santa, like an understudy.
- Mr. Steven, out of my way. - Reindeer, coming through.
- That's right. Come on. - Only in the way, sir?
- Let's go. - Watch yourself, sir.
Nutcrackers.
Finally, a venue big enough to showcase my talents.
And your ever-expanding head.
Hey, there's my pups.
You guys ready to run your big entrance?
Was that a serious question?
I was born ready.
Great. We're running the top and the tail, so, watch for your cue.
Hyah, hyah, hyah!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Welcome to the North Pole.
- There you go. - [girl] Thank you.
- Watch your step. - Thank you.
[Eli] All right.
So, we are past quota on mega blocks, whirly tubes...
Good, good.
Yo-yos?
Yo-yos.
Moon shoes and wiffle bats.
And for some unknown reason...
candy cane pattern fidget spinners.
[gasps]
Guys, this is serious business. Get back to work.
Jackpot.
This'll be easier than taking biscuits from a puppy.
[laughing]
[elf] I'm coming.
Something funny?
You guys act like you've never been to the North Pole before.
Oh, yeah, it's, uh, been a while.
Been on sabbatical.
I see we're still using ribbons.
That's nice.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, well, we're South Pole elves.
This is Goofy,
Sleepy, Grumpy,
and I'm Bashful.
[humming]
Those are dwarf names.
Elf names start with E.
I'm Eli. This is Eddy.
He's Elon.
Get the picture?
Well, Nosey with a capital E,
we're the Big Man's new undercover security team.
And you don't wanna get on our naughty list, do you?
[alarm buzzing]
[Julio grumbling]
Oh.
Julio? Are you okay?
Guys, wrapping paper doesn't grow on trees.
[chattering]
Uh, tell me, my good elves, where might we find Santa?
My guess, since it's the middle of the work day,
he's taking a Yuletide nap in his cottage.
Thank you.
Excuse me.
All right, Tiny.
Here we are in the North Pole, doing our first Christmas special.
I'm so excited.
Christmas is my favorite time of the year.
Oh, no, no, Gnarly, please.
Let me pull the sleigh all by myself.
Try pulling in a straight line, mon.
You been hitting the catnip again.
Go visit a barber, I'm as straight as an arrow.
Cut, cut. Take five, everybody.
Hey, Simon, where's that Christmas spirit, dog?
And suddenly, the antlers aren't enough anymore.
I shall be celebrating Christmas in my trailer.
[Roland] That's beautiful. It's beautiful.
Okay, okay, okay.
I got this.
I have a plan, the perfect plan.
Actually, I can't wait to hear this.
I can have a plan, Kano. [laughs]
Oh, do tell.
I'll surprise him by going down the chimney, Santa-style.
He'll never see it coming.
[laughing]
How original.
Thank you.
And I bet I can just fly up there.
Check it out.
[chuckles]
Here you go.
[sighs]
[grunting]
Is it weird I want him to succeed and fall down the chimney into the fire?
[laughs]
- Oh, great. He'll brag about this forever. - [Roland] Top of the world.
That's right. That's right.
I'm here, I'm here, I'm here--
Whoa!
Dumb is forever. [laughing]
[grunting]
[chattering]
How about we try the front door?
That's a good plan.
What is the meaning of this?
Sorry, big guy, but there's a new Santa in town.
Me.
You've been downsized.
[all laughing]
- [man] Back it up. - Remember, pups, you're up right after me.
We won't let you down, Mr. Shep.
Obviously, saving the best for last, per usual.
I wonder what sweet swag Santa's bringing us this year.
I don't know. It's a big surprise.
But where's Santa?
[gasps] That's my cue.
Wait.
Is that my cue?
I-- No sé, I'm busy.
Yo, Santa. Where you at?
- [man 1] Put it down. - [man 2] That light right now.
Dramatic entrance.
I sure hope Santa shows up.
Sometime soon?
Today, maybe?
Here's Santa.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Moving downstage. And you sing. You dance. It's awesome.
Pas de bourrée, booty quake, booty quake.
Dab, whip, dab, and jazz hands.
Glad you could join us, SC.
Oh, uh... Ho ho ho. Heh.
It took a little while, Tiny,
but I think I found you the perfect present.
Wait, Santa, do you mean...?
Are you for reals, Santa?
You guys are getting the best Christmas present of all time.
Well, uh...
definitely a big surprise.
[groaning]
Ugh.
How can one show have so many words and zero ninjas?
These costumes are embarrassing. Not even designer knockoffs.
I mean, come on, people. No elf princesses?
[Shep clears throat]
Uh...
"Say hello to your Christmas surprise."
Cut. Reset.
Tenth time's the charm.
[sneezes]
Ugh, someone told me a fib.
This is not Miami.
I am certain of that now.
No, really?
We must've made a wrong turn.
So sorry, short stack.
Nice duds, huh?
Now I can give myself that electric train you never brought me.
Am I growing a beard?
It takes more than a belly full of cookies to wear that suit.
You can't be in the naughty list, for starters.
Oh. Well, then let's rewrite history a little, shall we?
Hmm.
Ah. Here we are.
[Roland chuckles]
[grunts]
Stupid Christmas.
All right, what's the scam this time?
Ha-ha. The scam, ahem...
or the plan, as I like to call it,
is that we are-- We're, uh...
What exactly is the plan again?
I'm appealing to the most powerful emotion of human- and dogkind.
Love and kindness.
Greed.
- Simple commerce, really. - [Santa] Oh.
You're sadly underestimating the goodness of the human heart.
Am I?
Everyone wants their kids and pups to wake up
to toys, or gifts, or cookies, or whatever, on Christmas morning.
Well, now they're gonna buy it from the greatest brand of all time:
Santa Claus.
Then we go to Miami, and thaw out on the beach with chiquitas.
Christmas spirit doesn't come in packages, Bark.
You can't sell people good times with the people they love.
Any of this ringing a bell?
Hmm. No.
Surely you have people you love, don't you?
Oh, get with the times, old man.
Humans and dogs are insatiable. They'll buy anything.
If they don't, we put coal in their stockings.
The ultimate punishment.
[both laughing]
That's no bueno.
[man] Here's your mail.
Come on, get up. We got mail.
Did Santa write us back, about our list of demands?
Uh... Nothing but catalogs and bills.
Maybe we didn't make the nice list.
No way. I mean, sure, we've got a few minor infractions,
but we've served our time.
Right? Right?
I got it. Santa's the surprise guest star of the show, right?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, say what?
Dad said I was the guest star.
Keep going, sis.
The diva needs some time to process the obvious.
We sneak into Santa's sleigh,
fly to the North Pole, and demand the loot we deserve.
In and out. Back in time for Christmas. Easy-peasy.
All in favor, say "aye." Aye.
- Aye. - Aye.
- Nay. - That's unanimous.
I'm pretty sure that's not what "unanimous" means.
Ebob, I need you to go around and collect all these fidget spinners.
Uh...
What's going on here?
There's a merry-go-round?
Poor Santa and Mrs. Claus have come down with a very bad flu.
- Oh. I better check on them right away-- - That's not possible.
He's under quarantine. It's very contagious.
Especially to elves.
That's why we're here to pick up the slack.
- Yeah. - Yes. And he wants to make sure
the elves are able to fulfill their orders for Navidad.
Orders? You mean wishes?
Orders, wishes, whatever.
Listen, Roland will be filling in for Santa in the meantime.
Yes, and I will need full access to Santa's lists,
cookie supply,
and, of course, the reindeer and sleigh.
This is highly unusual.
Why is the room spinning?
As you can see, this is an official order from the Big Man himself. Mm-hm.
"By the order of Santa... Christmas authority...
- Bark hereby officially..." - [growling]
Go ahead, take a real close look.
Uh...
Heh. Looks legit.
Okay. Uh, everyone...
This is the boss.
[Roland] Ho ho ho, everyone.
Prepare the sleigh.
I have very important events to attend to tonight. So...
I see Santa's underpants.
[all laughing]
- [elf] Cover your eyes. - [clears throat]
Chop-chop.
Okay.
Auntie Lou, can I ask you something?
You could talk to me about anything. That's what aunties are for.
Let's just pretend I have this friend
that desperately wants to go for a joyride in Santa's sleigh.
And you're worried that this friend might get you on the naughty list?
- Maybe. - Okay, girls.
- You can chitchat later. It's time to go. - Okay.
- [man 1] Volume. - [man 2] Yeah, so...
Look at our little pros.
We're not rushing them into this, right?
No, they know they can talk to us about anything.
We're cool parents.
Look alive, pups. This is the real deal.
I need to know that I can trust you to behave tonight.
Uncle Shep, we would never do anything to make your job harder.
Besides, it's my debut.
You say "bark," we say "how loud?"
Thanks for being such a stellar dogfather. Heh.
- Oh... - [Gnarly] Don't patronize me
- with your highty-tighty slang. - Calm down.
By the smell of you, I'd say, they put the antlers on the wrong end.
That's it. You're a prima donna, mon.
I challenge you to a joust. You blabbermouth.
I am so gonna mop you up,
- just like the mop-head you are. - Whoa. Whoa, okay?
Show me your moves, you ragamuffin.
Be forewarned.
I was varsity fencing at Dartmouth.
Shep.
Okay. Sit, stay, don't move a muscle.
Shep to the rescue.
Okay, eyes off target.
You know the plan. Santa's sweet ride will be on the roof waiting for us.
[chuckles] Time to ditch the Shep dog.
No, I object.
Whoa, harsh, Cindy.
All in favor of ignoring Cindy?
[all] Aye.
Sorry, Cindy, majority rules.
[panting]
Somebody tell me they have eyes on the pups.
Nobody?
[shouts] Charlie. Rosie. Brody. Cindy.
Where did you get that suit?
Turns out the little guys are great with a needle and thread.
Who would've thunk it? You likey?
Yeah.
Time to get down to business. Ahem.
Elon, this sleigh is filthy. Please, clean it.
[clears throat]
Thank you.
Prancer, light on those hooves.
I'm Prancer, and he's Dancer.
Oh. Right. I knew that.
Uh...
What's the difference again?
Very smooth.
Yeah, I don't do that.
New Santa is quite the hipster.
Timber.
Looking foxy, Vixen.
Are you...?
Are you playing reindeer games with me, Cupid?
No, I just have resting loving eyes.
Oh, yeah. Cupid.
That makes sense.
Could someone bring Santa a strudel?
You look too skinny.
Nice pecs, Blitzen.
You're doing most of the heavy lifting around here?
Danke, I work out.
And I take it you're the pilot, flyboy?
It's Comet, Santa.
That is enough insubordination out of you, fella.
I am Santa, and what I say goes.
I have a friend who knows this reindeer named Rudy,
and he would be happy to take your job.
So, think about that.
What a jabroni.
What was that? I couldn't quite hear you, son.
Uh, I said, I like pepperoni, sir.
So do I.
Thank you.
Okay, just hold the reins loosely, and the reindeer will do the rest.
I think I can handle it. I flew a helicopter once.
Sort of.
Jiminy Christmas.
[gasps]
Oh, no, you didn't just slap my heinie.
Giddyap.
Ho ho ho!
- See? I'm a natural. - What do you want, a trophy?
- Hope you are not a nervous flyer. - Let's give him a shock.
[Roland shouting]
And I got a need... [laughs]
for speed.
Here comes the sonic boom, ja?
Merry Christmas, boys and girls, pups and pupettes,
and welcome to the Pup Star Christmas Special.
- Oh. I love Christmas specials. - Tonight we have...
I used to watch them with mi familia, when I was bien chico.
We remember.
You were on the nice list back then.
So kind and caring.
Ah... Things change.
It's starting.
All right, Tiny.
Here we are at the North Pole, doing our first Christmas special.
I'm so excited.
Christmas is my favorite time of the year.
Here we go, guys. Coming in for a landing.
[laughing]
Nice flying, ace. You're a natural.
Everyone, duck for cover. He's going to spill his cookies. [laughing]
Spin counterclockwise. It always helps me.
Whoa!
You know, venison is a delicacy where I come from. [slurps]
[gulps]
Thanks for the ride, fellas.
We'll be right back.
You guys just sit here and uh...
spin.
There you go. After you.
Okay.
They've gotta be here somewhere. Keep looking.
Oh! Mr. Claus.
It is such an honor to have you on our show.
All right already.
No need to slobber.
Well, let's get this show on the road.
Santa's a very busy man this time of year, as I'm sure you understand.
Yes. Yes, of course. Right this way.
You.
[growls] Get lost.
[laughs]
I've got some last-minute changes for Santa's number.
[snoring]
Five more minutes.
Step, step, turn-step, jazz-hooves.
This better be worth it.
This is my debut we're missing, remember?
Relax, sis.
With all the loot we're gonna get, you can buy your way into showbiz.
Vixen, you are cray-cray like a fox.
So many dancing sugarplums.
For the record, this is a bad--
I mean, worst idea ever.
Get wise, Cindy. We're only here to meet Santa.
[sighs]
[sneezes]
Guess who. Tag.
Man, look at us. Meeting Santa for some carols?
Hope he's got a solid track, locked and loaded.
Trust me, this one's a showstopper. [laughs]
Ho, ho, ho.
[music playing]
♪ Merry Christmas, everybody ♪
♪ From the great North Pole ♪
♪ There's a new Santa coming to town ♪
♪ Now here's the situation ♪
♪ I'm now the Santa Corporation ♪
♪ So, pay attention While I run this down ♪
♪ Rule one ♪
♪ For all you kids No more naughty or nice ♪
♪ Go on, lie, cheat, steal ♪
♪ Do whatever you like ♪
♪ And all you parents from now on Only money will suffice ♪
♪ But you can purchase Christmas spirit At a reasonable price ♪
Jeez, why did we even bother rehearsing?
Is Santa having a midlife crisis?
♪ I don't care if you're naughty or nice ♪
♪ Santa's got a brand-new plan ♪
♪ But if you don't have any money I'm afraid it's no dice ♪
♪ Now, when I was young and foolish I believed in being good ♪
♪ To be on Santa's nice list was my goal ♪
♪ But when Santa and his sleigh Would arrive each Christmas day ♪
♪ He never left me anything but coal ♪
♪ Santa's got a brand-new jam ♪
♪ I don't care if you're naughty or nice ♪
♪ Santa's got a brand-new plan ♪
♪ Santa ♪
♪ Santa's got a brand-new jam ♪
What just happened here? Santa's gone crazy.
Oh, no. Our puppies.
Here, I got it. I got it.
[coughs]
They're not in there.
Oh, no. This can't be happening.
Where could our pups be?
This way.
Wait. This... is a bit of a surprise, no?
Yes. A shocking and appalling surprise.
[laughs] Whee!
You're on fire.
I know.
The audience loved me. They really loved me.
No, you're literally on fire.
Huh?
What--? What you--?
[yelling]
[laughs]
- [steam hisses] - [sighs]
Move it, bozo. We don't wanna be here when the canine cops show up.
[clears throat]
Ow!
Mush.
We have liftoff, pups.
- I'm sorry, Tiny. - Did you find them?
They've disappeared.
They're not in Costumes, not in the green room, not anywhere.
- Nothing? - Yo, no stone unturned.
Don't worry, I promise, we will find them.
We're horrible parents.
I'll never forgive myself.
Whoa, aurora borealis.
It's just as beautiful as I imagined.
Pay dirt.
[Roland] In you go, in you go. Yeah.
So long, old Christmas.
This is the season for giving to us. [laughing]
I can finally buy that luxury eye patch.
Real velour. Oh, yeah.
Everybody, be cool. Try to blend in.
[elves grumbling]
I thought the North Pole was the happiest place on earth.
Er, no, that's Disneyland.
Don't be so judgy, sis.
Elves are busy with tons of toys to make.
Now let's go get our share.
[Bark] Listen up.
♪ Attention, all you slackers Let's pick up the pace ♪
♪ If you don't meet our quota You'll soon be replaced ♪
♪ No more yuletide naps or candy breaks ♪
[Roland] No, no, no.
♪ My joyful little elves ♪
Mine, mine, mine.
♪ 'Cause I'm re-branding Christmas And everything's for sale ♪
♪ -This is the worst Christmas ever - Worst Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the cash it will bring ♪
Oh, yeah.
♪ -This is the worst Christmas ever - Worst Christmas ever ♪
♪ I love the sound of money When it ching, ching, ching ♪
♪ From this day forth, my minions I hereby decree ♪
[Kano] Listen up.
♪ This holiday is now about What's in it for me ♪
♪ So, hurry up, my little friends Or you'll miss all the fun ♪
♪ Pack up every parcel ♪
Hurry.
♪ Ship them when you're done ♪
♪ -This is the worst Christmas ever - Worst Christmas ever ♪
[Bark] ♪ With all the cash That it will bring ♪
♪ -This is the worst Christmas ever - Worst Christmas ever ♪
[Bark] ♪ I love the sound of money When it ching, ching, chings ♪
No whining. Quick.
♪ No mistakes, no faking aches Or you'll be fined ♪
That's right.
♪ 'Cause I'm re-branding Christmas And it's a dollar sign ♪
All right.
♪ Now that Santa's corporate profits Continue to grow ♪
Oh, no.
♪ My favorite part of Christmas Is that I'm rolling in dough ♪
♪ -This is the worst Christmas ever - Worst Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the cash that it will bring ♪
♪ This is the best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Worst Christmas ever ♪
♪ The best Christmas ever ♪
Ladies and gentlemen, this truly is the nightmare before Christmas.
Please, help us find our puppies.
Christmas isn't Christmas without our family together.
Rosie loves singing and dancing.
And Charlie's as smart as a whip.
Brody's a straight-up rascal, loves an adventure.
And Cindy is kind, and caring, and soulful.
- Christmas was-- - [sobs]
I mean, is her perfect holiday.
We don't know if they're lost, or this is a prank, or whatever.
We just want them home for Christmas.
We're offering a reward for their safe return.
No questions asked.
What kind of monster would do this?
Sorry.
[strumming]
Ho ho ho.
If you want toys, toys, toys,
go online, and click, click, click SantaClaus.pole.
And remember, if your parents don't buy from Santa,
they don't love you.
I think I know where the pups are.
What?
Gentlemen, we're now the most profitable business in history.
From now on we charge for shipping.
Whoa, hold the phone.
Santa's charging us now?
This is outrageous.
I mean, what's even the point of being a good pup all year?
[sighs]
Who stole your puppy?
Don't you think I should have Santa's chair?
I mean, I am the new Santa Claus.
You're not Santa.
Think of yourself as the Ronald McDonald of the North Pole.
What, you mean like a mascot?
And the last horse crosses the finish line.
Okay, you stay here.
Kano and I are going to check in on our guests.
[laughing]
Right, look alive, elves.
Time is money.
Candy doesn't grow on trees.
Or does it?
Eli, look into that.
Here's our chance.
Santa's alone, we go in, state our case for more loot--
And fame.
Then I drive the sleigh home, as agreed.
Come on.
Something isn't right.
Santa isn't this mean and selfish in the book.
Seriously, sis, you can't believe everything you read.
Think of it like a movie.
Based on a true story,
but with embellishments to make it more interesting.
Like Santa not being crazy, and sweaty, and a total sugar junkie.
- All in favor, say "aye." - Aye.
Nay, nope, nada.
Democracy. It just works.
[Charlie] Mr. Claus, sir.
We're here to negotiate the terms of our Christmas demands.
How'd you guys get in here?
We stowed away in your sleigh.
Sweet ride, by the way. Totally cherry.
And the "stowed away" thing shouldn't count against us,
since you stole my limelight at the show.
Let me apologize in advance for my brother and sisters.
They're a little confused about the true meaning of Christmas.
But they have good hearts, honest.
Uh... Santa's having a little bit of a senior moment, kids.
Who exactly are you?
I'm Brody. You can call me Bro.
I'm Charlie.
Rosie, obviously.
And I'm Cindy, Mr. Santa, sir.
Not to name drop, but our mom is Tiny, and our pop is P.U.P.
Ding-dong? Ring a bell?
Kind of a big deal.
Oh, well, I'm sure we can work something out.
Whoa, yeah.
[chuckling]
Did I miss the punch line?
Ho ho ho.
Cindy was trying to tell us that the puppies were up to something big.
And how is being on the roof going to help us find the puppies?
Don't you see?
Santa, he landed his sleigh here, right before the puppies disappeared.
Lou, you're a genius.
Everybody, scour the roof for clues.
Tastes like toothpaste.
I think that's North Pole reindeer poop.
[spits]
It looks like Cindy left us a clue.
The puppies are in the North Pole.
- [speaks Spanish] - [Lou] Let's go.
Let's go.
A Tony for humble Julio?
Of course.
[snoring]
The king of Broadway, you say? [chuckles]
[speaks Spanish]
At this rate, there won't be enough Christmas spirit
to power a piece of tinsel.
We have to do something.
Honey, we're home.
[snoring]
Wake up, short stack.
- [gasps] What was that? - You're supposed to stand guard.
I mean... I was, Kano.
It was a tricky trick I played, to see if they try to escape, heh, heh.
Never going to happen on Julio's watch.
Not that you asked, but we're on track for the most profitable Christmas yet.
I've got that workshop humming.
What you're doing, Bark, is destroying the spirit of Christmas.
Oh, look at the Christmas naughty list.
It's out of control.
The only ledger I care about is my accounts ledger,
and it's also growing.
Profits are skyrocketing.
Ka-ching, ka-ching.
Hey.
[chuckles] Look what I found.
I told you, no mascots in Santa's cottage.
Executive staff only.
Excuse me? Who are you calling a mascot?
Oh, okay.
Well, I guess I'll just send Tiny and P.U.P.'s adorable little pups
- back home. - [Bark] What the...?
You did-- But-- How did...?
Roland.
Anyone else find it odd there's two Santas?
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
[train whistle blowing]
- [whispering] Who are those guys? - She looks familiar.
[ticket elf] Tickets, please.
Tickets, please.
Why is everyone staring at us?
Maybe it's because you're dressed up as Mrs. Claus.
- [ticket elf] Elvin. - Incognito.
- Tickets. - [woman] There.
- I want to look good for Santa. - [ticket elf] How you doing?
This was the only costume in the wardrobe that fit me.
How have you been?
Shh! He's coming.
Act normal.
Hello. Tickets, please.
Oh. [chuckles]
It was just here.
Um, I must have left it in my other pointy hat.
Do you know who I think I am?
Mrs. Claus.
Latina sister?
I will make sure there's a little extra something for you
in your stocking this year.
Being an elf is a calling.
We work for the love of Christmas, not for money.
And I'm pretty sure
Mrs. Claus doesn't have a Latina sister.
[giggling] Of course I'm her sister.
Trust me. I think I'd know.
You can put our tickets on the North Pole account.
Mm-hm.
Okay. You can go now.
Bye-bye.
Tickets, please.
Tickets.
[speaks Spanish]
[Brody] Mrs. Claus?
Did that turkey infraction put us on the naughty list?
[laughing] No, dear. You're good puppies that occasionally make mistakes.
It's part of growing up.
Good, because we have some serious demands.
I mean, requests.
Assuming we escape, of course.
I'm so glad you're the real Santa, Santa.
I was starting to lose faith.
[chuckles]
Thanks for riding. Keep it moving.
Keep it moving.
Come on. Thanks for riding.
Have a good one.
Thank you for riding.
Señorita Claus.
Ooh! [chuckling]
Excuse me, where's the bus to the North Pole?
The coach is where it always is, and has been forever and a day.
Right this way.
- This way? - That way.
Thank you.
Have a good one.
Adiós, Ms. Claus.
Good to see you.
And that's everyone.
We're the only ones left.
Huh.
So, let me get this straight.
You filed an MPR...
a Missing Persons Report...
- for four of your lost puppies. - That's right.
And now your daughter, their show manager, and the puppies' nanny
have suddenly gone missing.
Officer, it's kind of an emergency.
I'll get right on that.
Ooh, it's the glazed...
Thank you for your time, officer.
There has to be a logical explanation.
If I know Lou, she's already hot on their trail.
I hope.
Well, thank goodness Ida is with them, wherever that is.
Yeah, Tiny.
Nobody messes with Ida.
[laptop ringing]
[sighs] Finally.
Bark?
Hello from the North Pole.
Go figure.
This has your stench all over it.
I should've known.
Who else is crazy enough to ruin Christmas?
Look at it as a reboot, Christmas 2.0.
But I didn't call to bicker about that. I've already won.
I'm calling because I have your pups.
I knew you took them.
Learn a new trick already, you dirty dognapper.
Au contraire.
That's the beauty of it.
Seems some extra furry baggage snuck into Santa's sleigh.
You're lying.
Our pups would never--
Am I?
Your pups came here, because they wanted more, more, more.
Smart pups.
Except little Cindy,
who can't tell the difference between fairy tales and reality.
Just when I thought you couldn't sink any lower.
Skip the pleasantries. Name your price already.
Oh, you'll love this.
I want you to put on your Christmas special again
on Christmas Eve.
Why? So you can ruin it again?
So you can thank your new official sponsor, me.
Kano will send you the script. Do my show right,
your little trespassers will be returned safely.
Don't, and...
Well, c'est la vie.
So, deal?
Of course it is. I have your puppies.
Happy Christmas.
I don't think we have another choice here.
We have to do the show.
Here we go.
Hyah, hyah, hyah! Whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
Welcome to the North Pole.
- This is it. Sneaky-sneaky. Okay. - Come on. Okay, this way.
Of course there is.
- There it is. - Is that it?
- [yelps] - [bell rings]
Hey.
- Oh, no. Oh, no. Shep. - [bell ringing]
You three.
[Eli] Does he mean us?
Oh, for the love of Christmas.
Yes, you three.
Get over here, pronto.
- [Ida] Who? - [Shep] I guess he does mean us.
Who are you?
We are your new elf recruits, sir.
- [chuckling] - [Eli] Uh-huh.
And who are you supposed to be?
Mrs. Claus' long-lost Latina twin sister.
Señora Claus.
It's true.
Well, since we're being honest, let me tell you a secret.
Oh, I love secrets. Okay.
[yelps]
Plastic.
Okay, fess up.
Look. We're just trying to find our puppies.
We think that Roland dognapped them.
Yes. And take down that evil, maniacal dog, Bark.
What's your plan?
We actually have no plan.
Yeah.
We didn't think we'd get this far, so, we're kind of winging it. [chuckling]
- Okay. You want your pups back... - Uh-huh.
- and I want my workshop back. - [Shep] Uh-huh.
So, let's go and get Santa.
- Okay. Yes. Okay. - Yes.
[Shep] We're gonna go meet Santa.
Hey.
It's this way.
Yes. Okay.
- Yes, this way. - Santa.
[Mrs. Claus] I think it was the 1970s, right here.
[speaks Spanish]
You're stress-eating, gordo.
If you don't like the way I eat, you don't have to watch.
You know sugar is more addictive than caffeine?
You need discipline.
I'm Santa. It's normal.
Hey, so, do you guys know if we're still getting gifts or...?
Answer: Sometimes even good kids don't get what they want.
Happy?
We have bigger problems, hombre.
Enough. Enough already.
Enough with the list of demands, and the scams,
and the endless need for attention.
Whoa, sis. Let's not get crazy here.
Some of us were born to be the star.
And let's not throw out all the fun, okay?
Just because you're smarter, bigger, and more talented doesn't make you right.
[Cindy] Brody, it's time you took responsibility
for all the chaos you've caused, in the name of fun.
I feel like the stupidest, funnest brother ever.
[Cindy] Rosie, newsflash.
It's not always about you.
Cut to: Rosie, feeling like a terrible sister.
Charlie, things don't make you happy. Period.
I love you guys. Even more than all of my stuff.
[groans]
You want some crackers with that cheese?
Get real, pups.
Look here.
You're right. There it is.
You know, Roland, when you were a little boy,
you were on our nice list.
In fact, our records show
you got that train you so kindly asked for.
No, I didn't.
You put coal in my stocking every year.
Roland, come take a look at our records.
[Santa] Here you go, Roland, that train set that you always wanted.
No, that's not true.
Oh...
Guys. Santa came.
[all] Yeah. Yeah.
- [boy 1] What'd you get? - [boy 2] Coal.
I tried my hardest to be good.
[Roland] I'm giving up on Christmas.
[clatters]
[sighs]
I'm so sorry that happened to you, Mr. Roland.
I don't care. It was a long time ago.
You don't want all those good little boys and girls
to get coal in their stockings,
just because their families can't afford gifts, do you?
No, no, no. Don't listen, Roland.
He lies.
Sweet, sweet lies.
Oh...
Julio.
You were the happiest pup in the junkyard, before you lost your family.
You stopped believing in Christmas that day.
Nobody tells Julio how Julio feels.
[Julio] Oh, no.
The waterworks. [sobbing]
These are sweet, sweet truths.
We have a captive clientele,
elves that work for candy, and zero competition.
It's time to raise prices.
Genius.
All we have to do now is deliver on Christmas,
and charge those parents' credit cards into the ground.
We're rich. Tiny's ruined.
This must be what happy feels like.
Okay.
Oh, okay. Okay.
Okay, here's the plan. Shep, you're gonna bust down the front door.
I'm not exactly the rough-and-tumble type.
[sighs] I got this.
Oh!
Oh, impressive. [chuckling]
[Shep] Coming. I got it. I got it.
All right. Elon, you'll come down the chimney.
I always wanted to do that.
- Good. Lou, you keep a watch out. - Okay.
All right, here's the thing. I'm gonna go around back.
As soon as you hear the moose mating call,
- we go in. - [Elon] Okay.
- You'll know it when you hear it. - Mm-hm.
Okay, go.
[Shep] Here we go.
- Here we go. - [Ida] Quiet. We go sneaky-sneaky, okay?
Ready, boss.
Bark and Kano only care about themselves.
Their souls are as black as coal.
Yes, but you both have love in your hearts,
which went dormant, when you were hurt as little boys.
This...
This is why you're Santa Claus.
Now we can get Christmas back on track.
[grunting in distance]
What was that?
Christmas chupacabra?
It's not moose mating season.
[grunting continues]
[all shouting]
Elf uprising.
Everybody, flee.
Wha--?
[Roland] Hey, quit it.
Eli, what's going on here?
- We're here to save you, boss. - [Elon] Whoa!
Props to you, SC. It's harder than it looks.
[laughing]
Good news, Eli. We're already saved.
- These nice pups and handsome Chihuahua... - [speaks in Spanish]
And formerly misguided man-child.
[chuckling] They've seen the error in their ways.
[all laughing]
They're coming.
[door creaks]
[grunts]
Shh.
[grunts]
Why am I not surprised?
Just once, I'd like things to go smoothly.
[mumbles]
[Mrs. Claus] They're going. They're going.
A gift? For me?
Obviously I deserve it, but...
what do you get for the dog who owns the world?
[sniffs] Uh-oh!
[laughs]
What the...?
Um, who are you?
I'm the puppies' nanny.
And I'm their manager, slash publicist, slash dogfather.
And I'm their Auntie Lou.
I knew you'd come, Aunt Lou.
That's what aunties are for.
Do something, you half-wits.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your names bounce off of Julio.
We hereby officially resign from the Mean Team.
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
Roland, don't do this. Think about the good times. Like...
Bark, you are a perro muy malo.
Time we take back the North Pole,
and show the world the true meaning of Christmas.
[chuckles] Later, dog breath.
Say, you guys wouldn't mind us rerouting all your swag
to good kids and puppies in need, would you?
Take a picture of them, Elon.
You'll be insta-losers.
You won't be able to buy a follower.
And if I were you, I'd stay in that jail.
There's a lot of angry elves out there with low blood sugar.
Foolproof, you said.
So, who's the fool?
I just put the suit on, and I'm sweating like crazy.
Are you sure this is necessary?
I'm more of a "behind the scenes" kind of guy, you know?
- Are we really doing this, T? - Yes.
And in spite of Bark,
we are going to put on the best Christmas show ever.
People need their spirits lifted,
and we need to show Bark
that he can't put a price tag on Christmas spirit.
Let's do this.
Ladies and gents, pups and puppettes, on this Christmas Eve,
the Santa Claus Corporation is proud to bring you
the Pup Star Christmas Special.
Tiny, P.U.P., and we hope their puppies, will bring Christmas cheer to one and all
at no extra cost.
Without further shameful promotion, this is a Pup Star Christmas.
♪ Together by the fire's glow ♪
♪ Blushing by the mistletoe ♪
♪ Laughing while we trim the tree ♪
♪ That's what Christmas means to me ♪
♪ Sharing what we have with friends ♪
♪ Wishing that the night would never end ♪
♪ Singing songs with family ♪
♪ That's what Christmas means ♪
♪ To me ♪
♪ It's not about the gifts and shopping ♪
♪ It's not about the twinkling lights ♪
♪ It's the memories we share ♪
♪ The love that fills the air ♪
♪ That make this special season ♪
♪ Burn so bright ♪
♪ Telling stories old and new ♪
♪ The puppies snuggling next to you ♪
♪ The gift of love is what I see ♪
♪ That's what Christmas means ♪
♪ To me ♪
[Santa] Farewell, my love.
I'll be back in a North Pole minute.
I'm sorry there's no room for you four in the sleigh.
Oh, don't sweat it, Santa.
We'll hold down the North Pole till you get back.
- [chuckling] - Ooh!
And now it's time to fly good tidings
to all the good little pups and kids all over the world.
Let's spread some Christmas cheer.
But, Brody, I sure could use a copilot to help me fly this sleigh.
It's all happening.
My vision board came true.
I will not let you down, Santa.
We'll be tracking your progress, sir.
It's good to have you back.
Glad to be flying with the good guys again, SC.
Let's get a move on, now.
I'm ready to move and groove.
We've got a Christmas to save.
On Dancer, on Prancer, on Cupid, on Vixen,
on Comet, on Blitzen.
- Bye, Santa. - Bye.
Merry Christmas, Santa.
[Comet] Come on. Oh, yeah.
I gotta say, this Christmas kind of went off the rails.
I just really hope Santa brought our wish.
Am I...?
Is this...?
Can somebody please tell me what my cue is?
Actually, I think that's my cue.
Santa.
Ho, ho, ho.
- Dad. - Lou.
Merry Christmas.
I'm so sorry that we're late.
Hey, it's not Christmas unless we have the whole family together.
- I love you. - I love you, too.
- Look. - Oh!
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.
♪ There's a magic part of Christmas ♪
♪ That never has to end ♪
♪ Love's the perfect gift to share ♪
♪ With family and friends ♪
♪ Find forgiveness in your heart ♪
♪ And soon your heart will mend ♪
♪ Make Christmas part of every day ♪
♪ It's what I recommend ♪
Well, Christmas Eve is a little early to open presents,
but I think we can make an exception.
It would be an honor, Santa.
Mom, Dad.
It's a Christmas miracle.
Santa, you found our pups.
You're welcome, world.
I found Santa.
Rosie.
Okay, okay.
We found Santa.
It was so crazy. I drove the sleigh.
And Santa said I could come back every year.
Oh, you'll have to excuse me, friends,
but I'm a wee bit behind schedule this year.
So, a Merry Christmas to all,
and to all, a good night.
Merry Christmas, Santa.
Merry Christmas.
Ho-ho-ho!
[upbeat music playing]
♪ When you take a moment ♪
♪ To treat somebody nice ♪
♪ You'll find a little magic happens ♪
♪ Once you break the ice ♪
♪ It's something every one of us ♪
♪ Can practice every day ♪
♪ And you'll get more love in return ♪
♪ Than the gifts you give away ♪
♪ Christmas comes but once a year ♪
♪ But I am here to say ♪
♪ We can make that cheerful spirit ♪
♪ Be a part A part of every day ♪
♪ Let's take a pledge today ♪
♪ To make the world a better place ♪
♪ -Let's make every day like Christmas - Like Christmas ♪
♪ Let's take this holiday ♪
♪ And set it on replay ♪
♪ Let's make every day like Christmas ♪
♪ Like Christmas ♪
I now pronounce you elf and elf.
Ooh!
You may kiss the elf.
Mwah!
Hi.
And Santa has a train just like this at the North Pole,
and the elves run it.
That's a true story. Here, try it.
Oh, yeah.
Goal.
- Julio saves the World Cup for Mexico. - There it goes.
The crowd goes wild.
You know what else?
- What? - What?
I was Santa for a while.
- You were? - Cool.
"And all the elves agreed that Eli was no longer the naughtiest elf,
but the warmest, and the most giving, and the most Christmas-spirited elf
since St. Nick himself."
- Read it again. Again. - Oh! [laughs]
We're good parents.
For the moment, anyway.
♪ Let's take a pledge today ♪
♪ To make the world a better place ♪
♪ Let's make very day like Christmas ♪
♪ Let's take this holiday ♪
♪ Set it on replay ♪
♪ Let's make everyday ♪
♪ In every kind of way ♪
♪ Let's make every day like Christmas ♪
♪ Let there be joy, joy, joy ♪
♪ -Throughout the land - So much joy ♪
♪ Let's all come together Raise your paws and clap your hands ♪
♪ Today two hearts will beat as one ♪
♪ -Let there be love - Let there be love ♪
♪ Through thick and thin and back again ♪
♪ I pledge my love to you ♪
♪ When down to love and cherish you Of course I say I do ♪
♪ I do ♪
♪ -Let's plant a seed - Plant a seed ♪
♪ -And watch it grow - Watch it grow ♪
♪ When you care for one and other Love will blossom, don't you know ♪
♪ -Let your light shine - Let it shine ♪
♪ Like stars above ♪
♪ Let's put in motion this devotion ♪
♪ And let there be love ♪
♪ Let's raise the roof And howl like wolves ♪
♪ Love will find the answer And you'll have to prove ♪
♪ And then you'll see your destiny ♪
♪ Side by side all through your life ♪
♪ You'll provide and be a part Let there be love ♪
♪ Let there be love ♪
♪ -Make this the best Christmas ever! - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪
♪ -Make this the Best Christmas ever - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make those jingle bells ♪
♪ Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ Santa, Santa, Santa, yeah! ♪
♪ So great to have you with us To spread the Christmas cheer ♪
♪ Let's make this joyful season Last throughout the year ♪
♪ Remember Christmas spirit And what it's all about ♪
♪ So, open up your hearts And let's help each other out ♪
♪ -Make this the best Christmas ever! - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪
♪ -Make this the best Christmas ever! - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make those jingle bells ♪
♪ Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ -I think I've got this train on track - Choo, choo, choo ♪
♪ And the kids will love These pink backpacks ♪
♪ Oh, it's true ♪
♪ -Why don't we add some tasty snacks? - Yes, let's do! ♪
♪ Get busy everybody, Let's pick up the slack ♪
Go, Prancer. Go, Prancer. Rip it up, Dancer
Rip it up, Dancer and Prancer.
♪ Hooves to the house ♪
♪ -Come on, yeah. Yeah, come on - Yeah ♪
♪ Come on, come on. Yeah, come on, come on, come on ♪
♪ -Make this the best Christmas ever ♪ - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪
♪ -Make this the best Christmas ever ♪ - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make those Jingle bells ring ♪
♪ How about a round Of hot chocolates on me? ♪
♪ And don't forget to add whipped cream ♪
♪ Sounds like fun! ♪
♪ And extra sprinkles If you feel the need ♪
♪ We'd love some! ♪
♪ We're so proud to have each one of you As part of our team! ♪
♪ -Make this the best Christmas ever ♪ - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪
♪ -Make this the best Christmas ever ♪ - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make those Jingle bells ring ♪
♪ -Make this the best Christmas ever ♪ - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ With all the joy that we can bring ♪
♪ -Make this the best Christmas ever ♪ - Best Christmas ever ♪
♪ Come on and make those Jingle bells ring, ring, ring ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪